No Matter What

 

I am all out of love
I don’t want this life painful and lonely
I don’t want to be here
Take me away from here somewhere
I don’t want to live this life
Secluded and shady refuge I ask for
Away from illumination
Complex combination
I don’t want to be an angel
And I can’t be your kin
Ashes fall from my belongings
And I rub it through the skin
Water cannot wipe the stains
And fire cannot warm the chill inside me
Wind will change its course for sure
but things won’t change for me

No matter what I do
No matter where I go
My memories follow me
but my shadow let me go

no matter what I do
things won’t change for me
they are not meant to be
these tears and these pangs
of loneliness and pain
will come every time
will come over again
though I close my eyes
trying to ease the pain
it doesn’t work for me
it comes over again
I can’t hide it anymore
Inside my clothes
It seeps out and oozes to the surface
It won’t stop hurting
I should freeze my breathe, maybe
But things still won’t change for me

No matter what I do
I will live like a memory
In lives of other people
But none of my own story
To tell myself and laugh for me
Only anguish and hurt
Running inside me
No blood no life
No love in these veins
Only ashes and clothes
Also water stains
Trying to catch on to the transitory
I have lost myself in time
Not know I it’s the knell
Or the rusty bells chime
I will ring it for me
But things won’t change for me

No matter what I do
No matter where I go
My memories follow me
But my shadow lets me go